Love them rob keep em coming mate lol

Wife the other day had been to a carboot sale, came back with a mirror, got it for a tenner, apparently it's a magic mirror.  I was out at work, came back saw her and said 'wtf, where did you get those?' her chest bulging and all.   She told me about the magic mirror I'm thinking 'silly b*stard'  She told me to ask the mirror anything and it'll grant you whatever you want.  Later on, went upstairs, it's there on the back of the bathroom door so thought id give it a go 'mirror mirror on the door, make my d*ck touch the floor' - my bloody legs fell off.

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their
retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled
shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her
hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy
for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions
used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated
the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a
piece. The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word
you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."

I cannot stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else.
My mate Slasher is brilliant. He had a bad accident where he lost his voice and both legs. Does he make a song and dance about it ? No, he doesn't!! 

Daffy Duck calls the hotel desk & asks for a condom. They ask "Shall we put it on your bill" he says "are u thucking thupid I'll thuffocate!"

At least that is something to look forward to possibly be doing. I hope all is well.

I had a plaster cast done of my stump on the 20th, so have to wait 3 or 4 weeks for the fitting and testing to take place. I wont be able to take the leg home until the hospital are happy i'll be safe using it. I did ask one of the staff if i can ride a bike with the leg, but he said no not with a fixed knee leg. However he did say i might get to ride a bike again if and when i get a leg with a flexible knee joint     

Sounds good Rob, hope the appointment went well and you can get sorted ASAP.

All is good on the home front Billy after having 3 ramps fitted to make life easier for me. Got another hopsital appointment on the 20th to go through the proceedure of having a false leg made up, so looking forward to that and getting back on two feet again  .

Rob, how you getting on?

yes looking great shane, and your hard work is really appreciated